Humor of budding archaeologists

Humor about archaeological research, history and heritage for children and adults. Just for pleasure, find some archaeological jokes and riddles from Augustin's team and more.

Augustin the archaeologist, Octave the poet and Manon the engineer as well as their archaeologist friends Alex and Lisa have gathered on this page jokes and riddles related to archaeological research, history and heritage.

If you also know good jokes or riddles, do not hesitate to share them with us by writing to us. Illustrations and videos are also accepted. The videos will be added to the Augustin's World section of our YouTube channel.

Jokes and riddles for budding archaeologists

Augustin's jokes

Augustin's Joke #1

I have an archaeology exam tomorrow.
And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way...
My future is in ruins.

Augustin's Joke #2

Archaeologists found Beethoven furiously erasing his music
When asked what he was doing Beethoven responded "I'm decomposing"

Augustin's Joke #3

Two archeologists are working on an excavating site when of one them stands up and asks their colleague:
-What time is it?
-I don’t know, the latter answers
-It’s alright, it’s ritual, answers the former who gets back to work.
Humour d'archéologue car, à une époque qui tend à disparaître, un objet ou un lieu dont les archéologues ne comprenaient pas la fonction ou le sens devenait forcément rituel, religieux ou magique d'où la raison d'être de cette blague qui a grandi dans le milieu de la recherche archéologique.

Augustin's Joke #4

Two friends are talking about archeology when one of them asks:
- How old is the most ancient joke you know?
- It’s at least pre-hysterical, answers the second.

Augustin's Joke #5

Archaeologists have recently found a mummy while excavating a tomb in Egypt. Oddly enough, the mummy was covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. They believe it to be the tomb of Pharaoh Rosher.

Augustin's Joke #6

A teacher had questions about the work of archaeologists. In order to answer them, he decided to go and meet them. Knowing that during the European Archaeology Days, he could access an excavation site, he decided to wait until June. So, he waited and went to a site and asked an archaeologist for some explanations about the discipline. After a few minutes, he exclaimed: "In fact, this discipline is just a question of conjugation! You just have to know how to move from one tense to another. For example: In the past, human beings used to put potatoes in salad. Today, they make French fries out of them. Tomorrow, they will print them to make the craziest shapes."

Augustin's Joke #7

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying : "American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French."

A few weeks later, 'The British Archaeological Society of Northern England' reported the following: "After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in 2011, Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely nothing at all. Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
Source : http://masante.over-blog.com/article-blague-archeologie-77249030.html

Augustin's Joke #8

Two men are walking through the desert and stumble across a big rock
- Hey, what a weird rock!
- Yes, it looks like a pyramid!

They both dig and discover a huge pyramid.
- #@%*! It’s a giant pyramid!
- What do we do with this?
- We should notify the American archaeological team. These people are professional and I’m sure they’ll know what to do with this.

They warn the American archeological team that comes with their jeeps, trailers, caravans and helicopters full of scientific devices. They get into the pyramid and after two years they leave.
- Wow, it’s been a while. What have you found out?
- Well – the spokesman of the American team responds – after laborious investigations, we have found out that this pyramid was built between 1500 and 2500 BC.
- Only that! After two years they have only found out that!

The two angry guys decide to call the Germans. The Germans come with their jeeps, helicopters and planes with scientific devices, get into the pyramid, spend two years and leave.
- What have you found?
- We have found out – the German responds – that this pyramid was probably built around 2000 BC.
- Anything else?
- Well, we couldn’t find out more, the hieroglyphs are very complicated.

The two men get very angry. We can still call the Russians, I’m completely sure they’ll discover something else. But when the Russians arrive, the men are surprised: there are no jeeps or helicopters, just one guy. The Russian man enters and two hours later he leaves.
- Soon! What have you found out?
- I have found out that the pyramid was built between February 12, 1858 and July 22, 1857 BC, according to the orders of Pharaoh Ankhetop IV, and its architect Thutmose the Younger. The opening day was cloudy and a branch of priests opposed it, because there was a partial eclipse of the moon in Sagittarius … bla bla bla. 2118 unskilled slaves participated and attempted a revolt due to the insane working conditions, which was stifled on September 5 by Pharaoh’s soldiers, resulting in 42 dead and … bla bla bla. The cost of the work is exactly 48 pounds of pure gold, and 3 pounds of diamonds … The influence on the language is proven in the accent of the highlands that the nobles of … bla bla bla …
- Wow! How did you discover all these things?
- Well, at first it was hard, but when the mummy started talking…

Augustin's Joke #9

Two archeologists are working on an excavating site when of one them stands up and asks their colleague:
-What time is it?
-I don’t know, the latter answers
-It’s alright, it’s ritual, answers the former who gets back to work.

Explanation: archaeologist's humor because, in an era that tends to disappear, an object or a place whose function or meaning archaeologists did not understand necessarily became ritual, religious or magical, hence the raison d'être of this joke that grew up in the archaeological research community.

Augustin's Riddles

Augustin's Riddle #1

Question: What is the animal that archaeologists love the most?
Answer: The snail! Because it leaves traces.

Explanation: archaeologists try to understand how human beings produced objects thanks to the study of the remains (traces) left by each civilization. By leaving its mucus behind, the snail leaves a trace that allows us to go back to it, just as human beings leave traces that allow us to go back to them to better understand them.

Augustin's Riddle #2

Question: Why do women like archaeologists so much?
Answer: Because the older they get, the more archaeologists are interested in them.

Augustin's Riddle #3

Question: Why is an archaeologist certain to go bankrupt?
Answer: Because his career is made of ruins.

Augustin's Riddle #4

Question: What does a female archaeologist's purse look like?
Answer: A layer of tissues, a layer of makeup, a layer of discount tickets, a layer of ID and 1 trowel to find her stuff.

Augustin's Riddle #5

Question: What animal do archaeologists hate?
Answer: The mole because it competes with them.

Augustin's Riddle #6

Question: How Many Archaeologists Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Answer: Are you kidding?! Why would we let them do that?! The broken bulb is a national treasure, pointing to our rich, rich history and culture. No, we would rather build a shrine there, and charge admission to see the ‘ancient luminosity device’. Call journalists and let's mobilize the population to defend our heritage.

Augustin's Riddle #7

Question: What should you not ask an archaeologist?
Answer: So, what's new?

Augustin's Riddle #8

Question: What is the difference between an archaeologist and an esthetician?
Answer: The archaeologist removes layers while the esthetician adds layers.

Augustin's Riddle #9

Question: How Many Archaeologists Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Answer: One team, but they’ll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

Augustin's Riddle #10

Question: How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is.

Augustin's Riddle #11

Question: Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?
Answer: Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.